There is a part of me that shudders everytime I hear the term self-care. It has become over and misused to the point of sounding trivial. Yet, the practice is foundational to our health, vitality, and ability to cope with our everyday lives. So, what is self-care, what is it not, and who really cares about it anyway?
My personal definition of self-care is simple; it is the nourishment of mind, body, and spirit. It is the daily practice of noticing the self, determining what is needed and then making sure those needs are met. Simple? Yes. Easy? Maybe not so much. Necessary? Absolutely.
Self-care is not selfish, indulgent, narcissistic, and it is not always pleasant. In fact, some acts of care are down right painful. Believe me, being a sufferer of multiple autoimmune diseases, there are many tests and medications for which I have an immense dislike, but I do whatever I have to do to make sure I can remain in remission from disease. I don’t enjoy taking certain vitamins, and sometimes even a massage is painful, but these things are done as a means by which to ensure physical wellbeing.
Perhaps, even more uncomfortable than the physically challenging aspects of self-care are the emotional and mental parts. Learning how to accept painful and difficult emotions is not fun. Having to come face-to-face with unwanted thoughts and finding ways to manage them so that they don’t disrupt moving in a valued direction, not easily done. However, it is absolutely worth the effort as true self-care cannot be engaged in without doing this work and without self-care, we run the great risk of illness; physical, mental or both.
So, who should care about self-care? Well, you should. I should. We all should. We have work to do, dreams to chase, and goals to achieve. Our ability to take care of ourselves impacts greatly on our capacity to be well enough (mind, body, and spirit) to get up, again and again, and do what is necessary to make our lives happen. We need self-care to be able to engage fully in our lives, relationships, and our passions. We need self-care to be well and vibrant, especially when facing adversity.
I suppose now is the point in this article where I should offer a list, or a process you might follow to practice self-care so that you can feel holistically nourished. But, I am not going to do that because there is no such list or process to follow. You will need to derive your own plan and that plan will need to be created out of self-knowledge and awareness. For the sake of this post, here is what I will offer – slow down, pause, and listen to you. Give yourself what you need when you know what that is – sleep, talk, cry, run, eat. To pin down a more comprehensive plan that is about you and uniquely for you, join my Facebook Group: Love, Me, Self-Love and Care or watch for information on this website or my Instagram and Facebook pages about an upcoming Self-Love and Care retreat. In this retreat, you will be guided through processes that will help you to define your values, become aware of your thoughts and emotions and develop skills, strategies and flexible daily practices to help you learn and begin to feel nourished in every way necessary to live your very best life. I can’t wait to see you there.
Love, Me.